Dunking Rachael: Anniversary of the Dunk!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Anniversary of the Dunk!

What can a girl say…"girl” is being kind to myself…none the less, the first week of April is the anniversary of my formal conversion… Yet what I have grown to understand about my “conversion” is that conversion is an ongoing exploration. It is a way of life, a way of engaging fully and Jewishly (not a word…but it works for me!)

During the dead of January on a day when there was no Bat/Bar Mitzvah my husband and I went to Saturday services. We go most every week, either to the Friday evening or Saturday morning. Well there was hardly anyone there….We often have very full services, but the cold and no celebration left only the hardy few. I love it at those times, I feel most connected and contemplative. When we completed the Shama for the 2nd time I turned to my husband and said “I feel Jewish today.”

Feeling Jewish appears to be a big hurdle in convert circles. More or less I have been feeling more Jewish, but the larger challenge of late was the war. Being a pacifist at heart, (all that Buddhist Meditation truly wore off on me) The pain and suffering of all …and I mean all, weighed heavy on me. Our congregation was very active in rallies etc…but it didn’t feel right to me…I felt like a woman without a home….I felt Jewish and wanted Israel to be safe, but felt sad about the loss of life and hatred all around. My husband and I got into some heated conversations and it was difficult. But what I came away with is I did feel and do feel Jewish. What a gift…..

So now as the anniversary looms ahead of me I am considering what I should do to commemorate the event. Any ideas?

1 comment:

Melissa said...: Congratulations or should I say Mazel Tov on your anniversary.

Thank you for writing me back. I appreciate it.

I do not know if you will be able to access it, but my Jewish blog is at: http://chazakvematz.blogspot.com/

Chazak v'Ematz is Hebrew for be strong and courageous.

I set it up that I have to invite people to view it. If you cannot access it, let me know and I can give you rights to it. I would just need your e-mail address.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Melissa

P.S. My e-mail is mpwrz@hotmail.com; February 8, 2009 at 5:05 PM

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Beit Din test Question #22 "If you were to join the Jewish people......."

22) If you were to join the Jewish people, what considerations would guide you to that decision? How did your course help you to recognize some meaningful ideas to Judaism? Are there some things you have learned in the course that you find difficult to accept into your life?

I have been a thinker and a seeker for most of my life. I have explored many faiths, been involved in and have a keen interest in philosophy and psychology. I was raised in an Irish/Italian Catholic home. I lived as a Buddhist/Unitarian Universalist for most of my adult life and previously was married for 20 years to a Jewish man who did not practice his faith of origin. At the birth of my child, now 19, I sought to learn as much as I could about Judaism in order to expose this child to the faith of part of her ancestors. So I come to this new point in my life with all my experiences, knowledge and aspirations.

But the question remains how did I come to consider conversion? It is though love that the door of conversion was opened. I fell in love with a Jewish man who participates in his religion, yet he did not require me to convert, pressure me, or in any way attempt to persuade or force me. This exploration of faith was of my choosing, my volition, nurtured by love.

Clearly I am not dogmatically tied to my faith of origin, seeing that the religious expressions which dominated my adult life have been mostly non-theistic. The major change/challenge for me is in the consideration/acceptance of a theistic understanding of existence. Through explorations with my sponsoring Rabbi, reading, (lots of reading!) and the Hillel class I have come to an understanding of the divine, a place of relationship with a theistic point of view that resonates within me.

To help to articulate this I refer to the work of existentialist thinker and Jewish educator Franz Rosenzweig.

“The function of religion, according to Rosenzweig, is not to erect theological systems or establish universal truths, but to lead to experience of God, starting from one's own personal existence. He "commends 'the Pharisees of the Talmud and the saints of the Church' for knowing that 'man's understanding extends only so far as his doing.' Religious observance is, in effect, the doing of one's religious convictions; the two cannot be separated."
“(Time Magizine Monday, Jan. 01, 1951 , http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,814185,00.html)

For Rosenzweig the written word was to be less important than the living exchange, for it is in the doing that the relationship to God will manifest. This idea blends well with my own mindfulness practices. These practices express that it is in the awareness of the moment, the only moment we truly have, where peace and divinity can be experienced.
Through my answers on this exam, my participation in the class and my meetings with my sponsoring Rabbi, I believe I clearly present that I am coming to know, and hopefully I am beginning to understand the meaningful ideas in relationship to Judaism. Clearly there is so much to learn, and experience.

I am most taken by the direct experience of the divine associated with taking on the laws and practices of this ancient faith. I have aspirations to practice in this tradition, but once again they can be best articulated through Rosenzweig:
“Rosenzweig’s approach was subjective also in connection with the mitzvot, Jewish observances. He did think that he would one day become a fully observant Jew, but believed in the gradual approach in which the observances slowly made their impact by “ringing a bell” for him. Typical of this approach is Rosenzweig’s answer to someone who asked him whether he wore tefillin [phylacteries]: “Not yet,” he replied.”
(My Jewish Learning.com http://www.myjewishlearning.com/history_community/Modern/IntellectualTO/Rosenzweig.htm)

Like the bell of mindfulness practice, the mitzvot, the mindfulness practice of Judaism, will take time to incorporated and to resonate within. Like the ringing of the mindfulness bell, or the sounding of the Shofar, the act of doing Judaic practices pierces the daily, the mundane and hopefully will help to awaken me to an even richer and more connective relationship with the Jewish people and the divine.