Dunking Rachael: Try a Little Tenderness

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Try a Little Tenderness

"Ba’ruch Ah’tah Ah’doh’nai Eh’lo’hay’nu Melech ha’o’lam ha’notayn la’ya’ef koach."

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who gives strength to the weary."

"Try A Little Tenderness"

She may be weary ...Women do get weary...

ok a bit weary,

First the interesting/positive news

I have been nominated to serve on my Synagogue's Board. Me, the Jew By Choice, Jew of only two years plus, on the board?

I think this has been a lovely compliment that the nominating committee has asked me. The process was comprehensive. First I was asked if I would like to be considered, then I filled out a questionnaire and lastly I went in for an interview with the nominating committee.

A letter was then sent to the entire synagogue community with the entire slate.

but then a glitch....The not so good news

Someone has put in a petition to run for the 2 year position, meaning there are now four people and three positions. This is highly unusual, in fact most folks believe it has only happened once before. When I was told about this event, I was also re-assured it wasn't about me. Despite this reassurance, I do feel vulnerable for all the obvious reasons. I am told it has to do with some other political situation. But now what had been a beautiful surprise and an honor has turned into something else. At every Shabbat since this new turn of events, folks in the know come up to me and say with a concerned expression make sure you get folks to the meeting etc...

I have talked to a few friends about coming to vote, but also have decided not to go crazy over this. It was an honor to be considered, and if I don't make it this year I plan on being around a while! I want what is best for our community, fighting and making camps of voters is not good for the community. I believe that would be a version of Lashon hara. I will not speak about things I do not absolutely know to be true or speak words that can cause our community to break. It is not me. I believe my aspirations are clean. When I was asked to serve I thought this was a way to give back to my chosen religious home some of what I have received.

Despite my resolve to be centered and calm I am nervous. In three or so hours I will first show up for evening prayers, attempt to center myself, and then be fully present for the meeting. It is out of my hands, what will be, will be.

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Beit Din test Question #22 "If you were to join the Jewish people......."

22) If you were to join the Jewish people, what considerations would guide you to that decision? How did your course help you to recognize some meaningful ideas to Judaism? Are there some things you have learned in the course that you find difficult to accept into your life?

I have been a thinker and a seeker for most of my life. I have explored many faiths, been involved in and have a keen interest in philosophy and psychology. I was raised in an Irish/Italian Catholic home. I lived as a Buddhist/Unitarian Universalist for most of my adult life and previously was married for 20 years to a Jewish man who did not practice his faith of origin. At the birth of my child, now 19, I sought to learn as much as I could about Judaism in order to expose this child to the faith of part of her ancestors. So I come to this new point in my life with all my experiences, knowledge and aspirations.

But the question remains how did I come to consider conversion? It is though love that the door of conversion was opened. I fell in love with a Jewish man who participates in his religion, yet he did not require me to convert, pressure me, or in any way attempt to persuade or force me. This exploration of faith was of my choosing, my volition, nurtured by love.

Clearly I am not dogmatically tied to my faith of origin, seeing that the religious expressions which dominated my adult life have been mostly non-theistic. The major change/challenge for me is in the consideration/acceptance of a theistic understanding of existence. Through explorations with my sponsoring Rabbi, reading, (lots of reading!) and the Hillel class I have come to an understanding of the divine, a place of relationship with a theistic point of view that resonates within me.

To help to articulate this I refer to the work of existentialist thinker and Jewish educator Franz Rosenzweig.

“The function of religion, according to Rosenzweig, is not to erect theological systems or establish universal truths, but to lead to experience of God, starting from one's own personal existence. He "commends 'the Pharisees of the Talmud and the saints of the Church' for knowing that 'man's understanding extends only so far as his doing.' Religious observance is, in effect, the doing of one's religious convictions; the two cannot be separated."
“(Time Magizine Monday, Jan. 01, 1951 , http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,814185,00.html)

For Rosenzweig the written word was to be less important than the living exchange, for it is in the doing that the relationship to God will manifest. This idea blends well with my own mindfulness practices. These practices express that it is in the awareness of the moment, the only moment we truly have, where peace and divinity can be experienced.
Through my answers on this exam, my participation in the class and my meetings with my sponsoring Rabbi, I believe I clearly present that I am coming to know, and hopefully I am beginning to understand the meaningful ideas in relationship to Judaism. Clearly there is so much to learn, and experience.

I am most taken by the direct experience of the divine associated with taking on the laws and practices of this ancient faith. I have aspirations to practice in this tradition, but once again they can be best articulated through Rosenzweig:
“Rosenzweig’s approach was subjective also in connection with the mitzvot, Jewish observances. He did think that he would one day become a fully observant Jew, but believed in the gradual approach in which the observances slowly made their impact by “ringing a bell” for him. Typical of this approach is Rosenzweig’s answer to someone who asked him whether he wore tefillin [phylacteries]: “Not yet,” he replied.”
(My Jewish Learning.com http://www.myjewishlearning.com/history_community/Modern/IntellectualTO/Rosenzweig.htm)

Like the bell of mindfulness practice, the mitzvot, the mindfulness practice of Judaism, will take time to incorporated and to resonate within. Like the ringing of the mindfulness bell, or the sounding of the Shofar, the act of doing Judaic practices pierces the daily, the mundane and hopefully will help to awaken me to an even richer and more connective relationship with the Jewish people and the divine.