Dunking Rachael: Making and Keeping Jews

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Making and Keeping Jews

Chaviva on her blog "Just Call Me Chavia" posted a discussion point, subtly and artfully may I add, about inter marriage and Jews...
http://www.kvetchingeditor.com/

below is what I wrote for a comment.....

ok....I think it is never so clear cut.....my daughter is paternally Jewish...she had a mom who was not Jewish(me....Jew by choice in 2nd marriage)

I believe she was raised with loving care exposed to all her root spirituality and ethics.

although not "Jewish" to most, she identifies with that part of her being.... I believe if her future life involved marriage to a Jewish man there would be a strong possibility of her becoming Jewish in the formal way...if not a Jewish man she is strongly grounded in her root spirituality that she would still be able to pass on good and strong values....and her offspring would be exposed to her Jewish roots...and supportive of the Jewish people.

my rabbi talks about "keeping our kids" all the time...and I get it....I understand the fear and concern...

But may I add that the Jewish people loose as many of their youth from totally Jewish families...

perhaps there is something to be looked into there...I watch it, many folks are involved enough to "get" the bar mitzvah. they "send" the kids to do the schooling but after the party....the kids AND the parents are gone.....

finding ways to make a Jewish life valuable beyond several holidays a year...to make our communities, open to all, inviting and a worth while investment.

I could go on and on...but it starts with the parents...and how they choose to raise a child, with what values? My daughter may not be Jewish to most, but I can tell you she is more "Jewish" in her values, respect of tradition and holidays than a lot of "Jewish" 21 year olds I know.

1 comment:

Chaviva Gordon-Bennett said...: It's interesting, because to a lot of these people the Reform or Liberal movement appeals to their tenor: just enough to get through the bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, and then be done. The Reform movement's original idea was that Judaism was just a religion, no more, no less. They have since retracted that, identifying with Israel and the cultural aspects of what it means to be a 24/7 Jew. The unfortunate thing about the reorientation (I believe it was in their 1970s platform), is that it hasn't really flowed into the greater community.

Of course, you're right, that a lot of Jews go off the "derekh" from their very religious families. People are driven away by too much and too little. The question is how to find a middle ground that keeps them just interested enough to make them question and explore more Judaism.

It's such a tough thing within the global Jewish community right now. I've seen a resurgence in MY generation of people who are coming back to Judaism, in a religious and all-encompassing way, in force. There is a lot of interesting discussion that perhaps its the lost souls of the Holocaust, reborn in grandchildren, finally finding their way. I think it's a beautiful idea, so who knows.

It sounds like your daughter has herself figured out with confidence, and that's important. I know some girls in her position -- Jewish father, non-Jewish mother -- but who carry around a hefty, hefty chip throughout the years, eventually converting via Orthodox auspices, but still holding on to so much anger because "I was a Jew, I'm still a Jew, why'd I have to do this?" Tell her not to get jaded, to own her identity, and to always know that she has a neshama hiding in there :); May 16, 2010 at 10:24 AM

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Beit Din test Question #22 "If you were to join the Jewish people......."

22) If you were to join the Jewish people, what considerations would guide you to that decision? How did your course help you to recognize some meaningful ideas to Judaism? Are there some things you have learned in the course that you find difficult to accept into your life?

I have been a thinker and a seeker for most of my life. I have explored many faiths, been involved in and have a keen interest in philosophy and psychology. I was raised in an Irish/Italian Catholic home. I lived as a Buddhist/Unitarian Universalist for most of my adult life and previously was married for 20 years to a Jewish man who did not practice his faith of origin. At the birth of my child, now 19, I sought to learn as much as I could about Judaism in order to expose this child to the faith of part of her ancestors. So I come to this new point in my life with all my experiences, knowledge and aspirations.

But the question remains how did I come to consider conversion? It is though love that the door of conversion was opened. I fell in love with a Jewish man who participates in his religion, yet he did not require me to convert, pressure me, or in any way attempt to persuade or force me. This exploration of faith was of my choosing, my volition, nurtured by love.

Clearly I am not dogmatically tied to my faith of origin, seeing that the religious expressions which dominated my adult life have been mostly non-theistic. The major change/challenge for me is in the consideration/acceptance of a theistic understanding of existence. Through explorations with my sponsoring Rabbi, reading, (lots of reading!) and the Hillel class I have come to an understanding of the divine, a place of relationship with a theistic point of view that resonates within me.

To help to articulate this I refer to the work of existentialist thinker and Jewish educator Franz Rosenzweig.

“The function of religion, according to Rosenzweig, is not to erect theological systems or establish universal truths, but to lead to experience of God, starting from one's own personal existence. He "commends 'the Pharisees of the Talmud and the saints of the Church' for knowing that 'man's understanding extends only so far as his doing.' Religious observance is, in effect, the doing of one's religious convictions; the two cannot be separated."
“(Time Magizine Monday, Jan. 01, 1951 , http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,814185,00.html)

For Rosenzweig the written word was to be less important than the living exchange, for it is in the doing that the relationship to God will manifest. This idea blends well with my own mindfulness practices. These practices express that it is in the awareness of the moment, the only moment we truly have, where peace and divinity can be experienced.
Through my answers on this exam, my participation in the class and my meetings with my sponsoring Rabbi, I believe I clearly present that I am coming to know, and hopefully I am beginning to understand the meaningful ideas in relationship to Judaism. Clearly there is so much to learn, and experience.

I am most taken by the direct experience of the divine associated with taking on the laws and practices of this ancient faith. I have aspirations to practice in this tradition, but once again they can be best articulated through Rosenzweig:
“Rosenzweig’s approach was subjective also in connection with the mitzvot, Jewish observances. He did think that he would one day become a fully observant Jew, but believed in the gradual approach in which the observances slowly made their impact by “ringing a bell” for him. Typical of this approach is Rosenzweig’s answer to someone who asked him whether he wore tefillin [phylacteries]: “Not yet,” he replied.”
(My Jewish Learning.com http://www.myjewishlearning.com/history_community/Modern/IntellectualTO/Rosenzweig.htm)

Like the bell of mindfulness practice, the mitzvot, the mindfulness practice of Judaism, will take time to incorporated and to resonate within. Like the ringing of the mindfulness bell, or the sounding of the Shofar, the act of doing Judaic practices pierces the daily, the mundane and hopefully will help to awaken me to an even richer and more connective relationship with the Jewish people and the divine.