Sunday, July 19, 2009

UNINSPIRED!

I AM TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY UNINSPIRED!

OK enough of that tantrum...but the sentiment remains... a little depressed, a little lazy, a little overwhelmed with my life.

I made an attempt to find some inspiration. I signed my husband and I up for a Jewish Spirituality retreat. if you have read my blog you may know that I have a long history in the Buddhist/Zen tradition. I still sit meditation but was yearning for a way to incorporate it more into my Jewish faith. When I saw the below information from The Jewish Spirituality Institute I jumped on it.

http://www.ijs-online.org/

"For Lay People
Three times a year IJS offers 4-day Shabbat retreats consisting of contemplative prayer, mindfulness meditation, Hassidic text study, yoga, lively discussion and Shabbat community. IJS has developed a 2-year curriculum - Vetaher Libeynu - an exploration of the adult Jewish spiritual experience. Alumni of our professional programs teach the curriculum in their communities"

We went. The people were nice, the location lovely, the parve/vegetarian food wonderful!....but overall not inspirational for me. I was disappointed...it truly was a very well thought out program, but for me it felt like a "light" version of what I have done in my own spirituality practice.....

I did learn something very interesting about myself.....I like tradition. I enjoyed the Torah study, and other group study activities....the meditation/silence/yoga stuff...well it was fine but I could more than likely teach them....I know that sounds conceited but I spent 20 years in a very dynamic Buddhist practice....retreats, weekly sits...etc. But what, threw it off for me, and my husband was Saturday morning. I missed the ritual, the full 3 to 4 hour service, Hebrew etc.
They ran a service that was more in the Reconstructionist vein.......it left me feeling like I only ate meringue cookies for dinner when what I wanted was a full holiday meal!

I can't stress enough that the folks who ran the program were lovely, committed and spiritual people. They did everything to make the weekend a beautiful experience.

It was me.......

what next........

Chabad?

2 comments:

shavuatov said...

Agh - how disappointing that the retreat didn't meet your needs.

I don't suppose it would help if I wrote that we all have these periods of feeling lees than thrilled with life?

I hope things turn around for you soon.

rachel

Dunking Rachel said...

thanks...it does help to hear supportive words....

thank you

Dunking Rachael

Love, Faith and Life