Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sincere-Supplication Part II

malaise is a terrible thing, this feeling of debility or lack of energy is partly due to some physical issues/pain... a possible rotator cuff tear in my right shoulder, I guess my pitching career is over....but more due to a feeling of disconnect....

I am finding my way in my Judaism... how I embody it, how I grow and learn and explore it. There has been a lot of blogging out there regarding the recent events in New Jersey. I stand by what I wrote, that this is a bad thing. I have read a lot of persons try to make sense of it, or to formulate a response to it....

The only thing I have come up with is sincere supplication. Prayer and action done with deep intent. I try to do this... generally this means that my attention to things from a traditionally halacha way may not be complete...but what I do is with my full self, body and spirit. When I recite the Shama in the morning I do it after sitting in silent meditation....I try to feel every word.....and most days this is a very powerful experience. When I pray I try to do it this way...

Perhaps those who have gotten caught in New Jersey have forgotten....I think there are many who have forgotten the true spirit behind the actions and prayers....There are those regular law abiding folks who attend services with me...they are nice enough...but they talk through most of the service...not a crime...but I go to connect to the collective and to the divine...I may still only get through one page of the Amidah by the time the entire room is done... but I have done that one page with concentrated attention and my entire spirit!....(ok note to self find a Hebrew class for the fall!)
With Tisha B'Av almost here, I have decided to attempt to fast with intention, to pray like it is my last prayer...to fully immerse myself in this day....Malaise you are on notice!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hope today works out for you. I have to say, I would find the talking insanely distracting, and part of me finds it quite rude. I know this is me looking at the way of things through my own personal experiences and opinions and it is acceptable in many congregations/different branches of the faith than my own.

So be it. I hope you have a meaningful fast.


Dunking Rachael

Love, Faith and Life