Dunking Rachael: My Patchwork Project Post

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

My Patchwork Project Post

I am happy to inform you that I am part of a wonderful endeavor started by Akira of the Zinc Plate Press Blog http://zincplatepressblog.wordpress.com/

Below is the posting from the Zinc Plate Blog about the Patchwork Project:

"Zinc Plate Press is embarking on project to captures the thoughts, feelings, and ideas of Jewish converts. As a convert, I chose to become a Jew and lead a Jewish life, yet, I have also internalized a two-ness about my authenticity as a Jew. The Talmud talks about converts on a higher spiritual plain because we chose Judaism. It sure doesn’t feel this way, unless we are held to every standard that born Jews are not. If we are Jewish, we should also have the choice to transgress as Jews. We are human afterall. Sometimes I feel I’m trying to mediate a looming divorce between parents. “Look at me, look at me,” anything to distract Judaism from itself.
I always get the “What-a-nice-story” responses like I’m showing an adult my finger paintings. Converts couldn’t possibly understand the authentic experiences of being Jewish. We are talked about while we are in the room, we are advocated for like powerless beings, and decisions are made about the authenticity of our Jewishness, which can shake the foundations of our lives.
In a Jewish Week column, Rabbis Searching For Common Ground, a forum was convened to address the fragmented state of Judaism. Here is a letter I wrote:
Rabbis Searching For Common Ground exemplifies the old model of thinking among rabbis to fix the fragmented state of Judaism. What I found particularly offensive was when this panel discussed the plight of the convert. It’s as if we have no voice, we are spoken about in the 3rd person, and decisions are pondered about our lives like we are a burden to Judaism. It is time for such forums to include actual Jews-by-choice in the discussion. The forum was supposed to address the fragmented state of Judaism, yet not going into the community and actually asking Jews-by-choice to participate is very telling about how out-of-touch Jewish leaders are in assessing the needs of the diverse Jewish community. These “common ground” forums always end with the same comfortable assumptions and divisions.
It is time to hear from one of the silent minorities within Judaism. It is time to hear, in our own words, what we believe we contribute to Judaism and its future. It is time to organize around common experiences and speak for ourselves. Let’s decide our own history as Jews and plant the seeds for future Jews-by-Choice to nurture.
Zinc Plate Press hopes to capture what it really means to live as a Jewish convert in a religion that is deeply fragmented."

Please check out the Zinc Plate Press Blog...it is a very interesting and eclectic mix of photos, commentary and insight.

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Beit Din test Question #22 "If you were to join the Jewish people......."

22) If you were to join the Jewish people, what considerations would guide you to that decision? How did your course help you to recognize some meaningful ideas to Judaism? Are there some things you have learned in the course that you find difficult to accept into your life?

I have been a thinker and a seeker for most of my life. I have explored many faiths, been involved in and have a keen interest in philosophy and psychology. I was raised in an Irish/Italian Catholic home. I lived as a Buddhist/Unitarian Universalist for most of my adult life and previously was married for 20 years to a Jewish man who did not practice his faith of origin. At the birth of my child, now 19, I sought to learn as much as I could about Judaism in order to expose this child to the faith of part of her ancestors. So I come to this new point in my life with all my experiences, knowledge and aspirations.

But the question remains how did I come to consider conversion? It is though love that the door of conversion was opened. I fell in love with a Jewish man who participates in his religion, yet he did not require me to convert, pressure me, or in any way attempt to persuade or force me. This exploration of faith was of my choosing, my volition, nurtured by love.

Clearly I am not dogmatically tied to my faith of origin, seeing that the religious expressions which dominated my adult life have been mostly non-theistic. The major change/challenge for me is in the consideration/acceptance of a theistic understanding of existence. Through explorations with my sponsoring Rabbi, reading, (lots of reading!) and the Hillel class I have come to an understanding of the divine, a place of relationship with a theistic point of view that resonates within me.

To help to articulate this I refer to the work of existentialist thinker and Jewish educator Franz Rosenzweig.

“The function of religion, according to Rosenzweig, is not to erect theological systems or establish universal truths, but to lead to experience of God, starting from one's own personal existence. He "commends 'the Pharisees of the Talmud and the saints of the Church' for knowing that 'man's understanding extends only so far as his doing.' Religious observance is, in effect, the doing of one's religious convictions; the two cannot be separated."
“(Time Magizine Monday, Jan. 01, 1951 , http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,814185,00.html)

For Rosenzweig the written word was to be less important than the living exchange, for it is in the doing that the relationship to God will manifest. This idea blends well with my own mindfulness practices. These practices express that it is in the awareness of the moment, the only moment we truly have, where peace and divinity can be experienced.
Through my answers on this exam, my participation in the class and my meetings with my sponsoring Rabbi, I believe I clearly present that I am coming to know, and hopefully I am beginning to understand the meaningful ideas in relationship to Judaism. Clearly there is so much to learn, and experience.

I am most taken by the direct experience of the divine associated with taking on the laws and practices of this ancient faith. I have aspirations to practice in this tradition, but once again they can be best articulated through Rosenzweig:
“Rosenzweig’s approach was subjective also in connection with the mitzvot, Jewish observances. He did think that he would one day become a fully observant Jew, but believed in the gradual approach in which the observances slowly made their impact by “ringing a bell” for him. Typical of this approach is Rosenzweig’s answer to someone who asked him whether he wore tefillin [phylacteries]: “Not yet,” he replied.”
(My Jewish Learning.com http://www.myjewishlearning.com/history_community/Modern/IntellectualTO/Rosenzweig.htm)

Like the bell of mindfulness practice, the mitzvot, the mindfulness practice of Judaism, will take time to incorporated and to resonate within. Like the ringing of the mindfulness bell, or the sounding of the Shofar, the act of doing Judaic practices pierces the daily, the mundane and hopefully will help to awaken me to an even richer and more connective relationship with the Jewish people and the divine.