Dunking Rachael: Saturday December 25th 2010

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Saturday December 25th 2010

If you are reading this blog, you more than likely know I am a Jew by Choice. So much has changed since I started down the path of "let me take a closer look at Judaism." A lot has happened! My third anniversary of my conversion will occur on April 1st 2011...God willing.

I am happy that I have managed to continue to evolve in my observance and practices. I have also managed to diplomatically deal with my family of origin, my Catholic, Italian/Irish family of origin. The main difficulty has been my daughter who lost Christmas with my conversion (her father, my former husband is Jewish but rejects all religion) Yet even before she moved to Portland Oregon this fall, that had started getting better too....so with her move, I have no Christmas tree dilemma!

As I put away my Hanuka decorations last Sunday, It dawned on me that this year will be the first one in my life where I have absolutely no trace of Christmas in my home. I have been trying to understand my feelings about this. I don't think I am missing it, but there is some issue of my memories. This time of year is intrinsically linked to that holiday. The songs, the traditions the religion of it all. Don't get me wrong I feel at home being Jewish, but it just seems a bit odd.

The next revelation for me is when I saw that Christmas falls on Shabbat this year. For those of you born Jewish with no mixed marriage issues , this is not a problem but for me this is BIG. One way I have kept the family quite is by attending gatherings in their homes for their celebrations. That way I am there but generally don't have to compromise much. (I will write about food wars at another time!...)

Ok I am not Shomer Shabbat but I am not secular about it either...I use the lights, shower with hot water etc...but my husband and I walk to our conservative synagogue and I don't work, shop etc..

The problem is my parents live two hours away from me.

I have envisioned the phone conversation..."hello mom,... no not coming, it is shabbat"......dead silence....the extremist word might get used...the c word...cult....and a bunch of others. There also could be some serious guilt thrown my way.

My parents are very old, they have accepted so much from me...I don't think I have the strength to hold my ground on this, this year....Does anyone know the next year this will happen?...maybe I will be on vacation for that!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: I can see where it would be difficult to tell your parents you aren't coming. In fact, I will be spending the Holiday with my husbands family. We will drive over on Friday, stay all night and spend Saturday with them. I probably won't have to do anything I wouldn't normally do here at home. Plus, I won't have to drive, so that will be nice.; December 15, 2010 at 5:58 PM

Post a Comment

Beit Din test Question #22 "If you were to join the Jewish people......."

22) If you were to join the Jewish people, what considerations would guide you to that decision? How did your course help you to recognize some meaningful ideas to Judaism? Are there some things you have learned in the course that you find difficult to accept into your life?

I have been a thinker and a seeker for most of my life. I have explored many faiths, been involved in and have a keen interest in philosophy and psychology. I was raised in an Irish/Italian Catholic home. I lived as a Buddhist/Unitarian Universalist for most of my adult life and previously was married for 20 years to a Jewish man who did not practice his faith of origin. At the birth of my child, now 19, I sought to learn as much as I could about Judaism in order to expose this child to the faith of part of her ancestors. So I come to this new point in my life with all my experiences, knowledge and aspirations.

But the question remains how did I come to consider conversion? It is though love that the door of conversion was opened. I fell in love with a Jewish man who participates in his religion, yet he did not require me to convert, pressure me, or in any way attempt to persuade or force me. This exploration of faith was of my choosing, my volition, nurtured by love.

Clearly I am not dogmatically tied to my faith of origin, seeing that the religious expressions which dominated my adult life have been mostly non-theistic. The major change/challenge for me is in the consideration/acceptance of a theistic understanding of existence. Through explorations with my sponsoring Rabbi, reading, (lots of reading!) and the Hillel class I have come to an understanding of the divine, a place of relationship with a theistic point of view that resonates within me.

To help to articulate this I refer to the work of existentialist thinker and Jewish educator Franz Rosenzweig.

“The function of religion, according to Rosenzweig, is not to erect theological systems or establish universal truths, but to lead to experience of God, starting from one's own personal existence. He "commends 'the Pharisees of the Talmud and the saints of the Church' for knowing that 'man's understanding extends only so far as his doing.' Religious observance is, in effect, the doing of one's religious convictions; the two cannot be separated."
“(Time Magizine Monday, Jan. 01, 1951 , http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,814185,00.html)

For Rosenzweig the written word was to be less important than the living exchange, for it is in the doing that the relationship to God will manifest. This idea blends well with my own mindfulness practices. These practices express that it is in the awareness of the moment, the only moment we truly have, where peace and divinity can be experienced.
Through my answers on this exam, my participation in the class and my meetings with my sponsoring Rabbi, I believe I clearly present that I am coming to know, and hopefully I am beginning to understand the meaningful ideas in relationship to Judaism. Clearly there is so much to learn, and experience.

I am most taken by the direct experience of the divine associated with taking on the laws and practices of this ancient faith. I have aspirations to practice in this tradition, but once again they can be best articulated through Rosenzweig:
“Rosenzweig’s approach was subjective also in connection with the mitzvot, Jewish observances. He did think that he would one day become a fully observant Jew, but believed in the gradual approach in which the observances slowly made their impact by “ringing a bell” for him. Typical of this approach is Rosenzweig’s answer to someone who asked him whether he wore tefillin [phylacteries]: “Not yet,” he replied.”
(My Jewish Learning.com http://www.myjewishlearning.com/history_community/Modern/IntellectualTO/Rosenzweig.htm)

Like the bell of mindfulness practice, the mitzvot, the mindfulness practice of Judaism, will take time to incorporated and to resonate within. Like the ringing of the mindfulness bell, or the sounding of the Shofar, the act of doing Judaic practices pierces the daily, the mundane and hopefully will help to awaken me to an even richer and more connective relationship with the Jewish people and the divine.