Dunking Rachael: Realizing life's Purpose...or Why I didn't Make The Bed This Morning

Friday, August 14, 2009

Realizing life's Purpose...or Why I didn't Make The Bed This Morning

"Elul -- the month preceding Rosh Hashana -- begins a period of intensive introspection, of clarifying life's goals, and of coming closer to God. It is a time for realizing purpose in life -- rather than perfunctorily going through the motions of living by amassing money and seeking gratification. It is a time when we step back and look at ourselves critically and honestly, as Jews have from time immemorial, with the intention of improving. "
(http://www.aish.com/h/hh/e/48966581.html)

Both my husband and I have hit a place of overwhlemedness...(is that a word?) We usually have had a slower summer professionally, but not this year. I know during these times of economic distress, for me to complain about working too much seems outright selfish/rude.Yet this has put pressure on us that feels "too much." We both work in the mental health field, I am a social worker and he is a child and adult psychiatrist. This is demanding work, and the added pressures of being private practitioners doesn't help. For those angry about the thought of health care reform....you should walk in my shoes!...the amount of energy, time and money thrown at trying to work with the insurance companies is CRAZY....(opps I digress.....)

all that above mentioned stuff combined with the feeling that we never had a summer ( most of our days off it rained or is was not beach weather) has led to a malaise of sorts.

This brings me back to the topic at hand, the sages tells us Elul is a time of reflection, introspection and priority alignment. I would love to study, meditate and have time to do good deeds/volunteer but life has me down right now. I am trying to find the balance the "middle ground."

I didn't make the bed today.......and I guess that is ok.............

1 comment:

Purpose in life essay said...: well post, i was looking the same for my purpose in life essay help.

Write Purpose in Life Essay; October 23, 2010 at 6:28 PM

Post a Comment

Beit Din test Question #22 "If you were to join the Jewish people......."

22) If you were to join the Jewish people, what considerations would guide you to that decision? How did your course help you to recognize some meaningful ideas to Judaism? Are there some things you have learned in the course that you find difficult to accept into your life?

I have been a thinker and a seeker for most of my life. I have explored many faiths, been involved in and have a keen interest in philosophy and psychology. I was raised in an Irish/Italian Catholic home. I lived as a Buddhist/Unitarian Universalist for most of my adult life and previously was married for 20 years to a Jewish man who did not practice his faith of origin. At the birth of my child, now 19, I sought to learn as much as I could about Judaism in order to expose this child to the faith of part of her ancestors. So I come to this new point in my life with all my experiences, knowledge and aspirations.

But the question remains how did I come to consider conversion? It is though love that the door of conversion was opened. I fell in love with a Jewish man who participates in his religion, yet he did not require me to convert, pressure me, or in any way attempt to persuade or force me. This exploration of faith was of my choosing, my volition, nurtured by love.

Clearly I am not dogmatically tied to my faith of origin, seeing that the religious expressions which dominated my adult life have been mostly non-theistic. The major change/challenge for me is in the consideration/acceptance of a theistic understanding of existence. Through explorations with my sponsoring Rabbi, reading, (lots of reading!) and the Hillel class I have come to an understanding of the divine, a place of relationship with a theistic point of view that resonates within me.

To help to articulate this I refer to the work of existentialist thinker and Jewish educator Franz Rosenzweig.

“The function of religion, according to Rosenzweig, is not to erect theological systems or establish universal truths, but to lead to experience of God, starting from one's own personal existence. He "commends 'the Pharisees of the Talmud and the saints of the Church' for knowing that 'man's understanding extends only so far as his doing.' Religious observance is, in effect, the doing of one's religious convictions; the two cannot be separated."
“(Time Magizine Monday, Jan. 01, 1951 , http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,814185,00.html)

For Rosenzweig the written word was to be less important than the living exchange, for it is in the doing that the relationship to God will manifest. This idea blends well with my own mindfulness practices. These practices express that it is in the awareness of the moment, the only moment we truly have, where peace and divinity can be experienced.
Through my answers on this exam, my participation in the class and my meetings with my sponsoring Rabbi, I believe I clearly present that I am coming to know, and hopefully I am beginning to understand the meaningful ideas in relationship to Judaism. Clearly there is so much to learn, and experience.

I am most taken by the direct experience of the divine associated with taking on the laws and practices of this ancient faith. I have aspirations to practice in this tradition, but once again they can be best articulated through Rosenzweig:
“Rosenzweig’s approach was subjective also in connection with the mitzvot, Jewish observances. He did think that he would one day become a fully observant Jew, but believed in the gradual approach in which the observances slowly made their impact by “ringing a bell” for him. Typical of this approach is Rosenzweig’s answer to someone who asked him whether he wore tefillin [phylacteries]: “Not yet,” he replied.”
(My Jewish Learning.com http://www.myjewishlearning.com/history_community/Modern/IntellectualTO/Rosenzweig.htm)

Like the bell of mindfulness practice, the mitzvot, the mindfulness practice of Judaism, will take time to incorporated and to resonate within. Like the ringing of the mindfulness bell, or the sounding of the Shofar, the act of doing Judaic practices pierces the daily, the mundane and hopefully will help to awaken me to an even richer and more connective relationship with the Jewish people and the divine.